Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Social Penetration Theory



The social penetration theory is displayed in many scenes of the movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. In this film, Jim Carey is undergoing a procedure that erases his memories of his failed relationship with Kate Winslet. During the procedure, Carey’s character decides he does not want this to happen and desperately tries to hold on to these memories. This is a scene, where the social penetration theory is the most evident. It takes place inside Jim’s mind and Carey and Winslet’s characters are lying in bed together. Kate begins to tell Jim a story about when she was little and had a doll she thought was ugly. This is showing a great deal of intimacy, because she relates this doll to herself. She then asks Jim not to ever leave her. Jim responds by telling Kate that she is pretty. By telling this story, Kate feels close enough with Jim to express self-disclosure. Kate’s story shows great depth, because she is reaching back to her childhood. The couple is quite obviously in the stable exchange stage, because there is complete openness and spontaneity between the partners.
The next part of this clip shows Jim Carey and Kate Winslet’s characters lying on ice holding hands. Carey states, “I could die right now, Clem….I’m just happy. I’ve never felt that way before. I’m just exactly where I want to be.” This shows Carey’s reciprocity of Winslet’s feelings and also displays the stable exchange stage. By saying he could die shows that he has learned to love and feels that his life is complete. Each of these characters has let their guard down and have reached a very high level of intimacy. The scene ends with Carey reluctantly losing the memory. He wants to continue to feel that level of intimacy. Both characters are extremely vulnerable with one another and thus have clearly demonstrated the social penetration theory.

2 comments:

Yifeng Hu said...

Does anybody notice that the guy called the girl "pretty" multiple times? I think it's a personal idiom (a private intimate expression stated in their relationship) which exemplifies Affective Exchange Stage. But I also agree that this couple was completely open, which characterizes Stable Exchange Stage.

One thing I learned from this illustration is that a higher level stage can include many characteristics of a lower level stage.

Sarah Ruane said...

This clip from Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind demonstrates Social Penetration Theory very well. The social penetration process includes verbal behaviors (the way we speak to each other and personal idioms we use). In the scene under the sheets Carey and Winslet’s characters speak to each other very lovingly, and they also use nonverbal behaviors such as kissing and touching to show their level of intimacy.
Winslet’s character self-discloses information about her childhood and her negative self-image to Carey’s character, thus increasing their intimacy. Carey’s character reciprocates this intimacy in the next scene on the ice when he reveals that he could die right now because he is so happy with Winslet.
I agree with Dr. Hu that the two characters also exchange personal idioms. In addition to Carey telling Winslet’s character repeatedly that she is pretty he also refers to her as Clem, which is his nickname for her (her full name is Clementine).